I Ain't Afraid of No Kyubi!
by Captain Omnitron
Summary: When disaster strikes... When the village quakes in fear... When there's no one to turn to... Who ya gonna call?


I Ain't Afraid of No Kyubi!

Naruto and all related characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Ghostbusters and all related characters belong to Sony/Columbia Pictures.

* * *

"Dammit don't drop it!" A ninja yelled at his partner, both carrying a large and heavy crate. The other ninja was clearly losing his grip as the crate began to heave and nearly tip over. Slowly sitting the crate down, the two sighed and bemoaned having to lug this thing into the local museum. Why an actual moving company couldn't be hired to do this was beyond them, but it seemed that this was to be expected when there was a lull in available missions, the village needed to do whatever it could after all.

"Man what is IN this thing?!" The tallest of the two said as he began to pry the crate open, causing him to get smacked upside the head by his shorter compatriot.

"What's the matter with you?! You can't just open the client's stuff! We could get fired for that!" And so began a back and forth argument, leading to one of them pushing the other into the crate, causing it to tip over and its contents to spill out. Crystal figures, dozens of them of various sizes and a large one at the very bottom. Amazingly they remained in tact, despite the impact, but the duo took a better look at the... Odd shapes of them.

"Man what kind of freak would display this stuff?" The shorter ninja said, looking at the vaguely humanoid shapes, as they were carved into some rather... Detailed depictions of some sort of creatures that looked disgusting at best or unsettling at worst. The tallest of the two laughed and began to wave them around.

"Oooh! It's a scaaaaaary crystal doll! Look out for it's curse! Ooooooooooh!" He moaned out before laughing, before cutting himself on the sharp edge of one. Hissing a little as the blood leaked from his hand and onto the figure he idly tossed them back into the crate... The blood seeping off the smaller figure and right into a larger crystal figure, one that had a symbol... A circle with an upside down triangle in the middle. The two heard a cracking sound and looked down as a white light shined, causing them to scream before the crate was gone... And so were the ninja.

* * *

"Naruto you're 17 years old! Isn't it time you did something?! For Kami sake your still a GENIN!" Naruto's mother, Kushina Uzumaki, yelled at him. Ever since he turned 15 and was still coasting along lazily as a genin he had gotten this browbeating from her. At one point he would have taken it as a challenge, but considering his father was still the Hokage and basically untouchable... Naruto's childhood dream of being Hokage seemed... Less and less important. Especially with his father not spending much time with the family. Sighing he got up off the couch and left without a word as Kushina sighed in utter frustration. She loved her son, she really did... But he needed to just grow up.

"Wonder what Kabuto and Sasuke are doin'..." He mumbled as he walked through the crowded streets of the big city of Konohagakure. Yes, it seemed like the 4th Hokage's push for an economic reform had bore success as the village seemed more like a full fledged metropolis. Naruto headed down to Kabuto's usual hang out, the library. For the resident genius, it was the perfect place to hide out from his own mother. Sometimes, Kabuto had to admit, he always thought about between being adopted by Tsunade Senju herself or Orochimaru? Some days between the heavy drinking and gambling? He'd take Orochimaru in a heartbeat. The library was also full of peace, quiet, and she couldn't barge in screaming at him for not pursuing medical training, choosing to focus on paranormal sciences, without causing a gigantic scene and getting herself banned, Sannin or not. Naruto had to admit, it wasn't a bad idea. Sasuke on the other hand was the one currently hiding out from all the angry fangirls... Yes it seems stringing girls along and "enjoying their company" tended to be a bad thing... Once all of them found out.

The three had one thing in common though, which is probably what lead to their friendship... Being a ninja just wasn't in their cards. Oh they had potential but between Naruto's lack of ambition, Sasuke's constant focusing on juggling his many girlfriends and keeping them in the dark about the others, which lead to abysmal grades, or Kabuto's head filled with goblins and ghosts? Translating that into proper shinobi was... Difficult at best.

"Guys... You ever feel like you wasted your life?" Naruto said as he looked at his best friends in a defeated look in his eyes. Sure Naruto was a goofball, but that had only gotten him so far. He longed for a chance at adventure and so on but... Genin never really saw that much and at this point he was stuck in the village doing horribly mundane D rank missions. He didn't even have a team or sensei at this point, he was just the go to janitor for the village.

"Naruto, I'm not even in the ninja system anymore, Kabuto dropped out years before _us_ so... Yeah I'd say we're doing fine. I mean come on, ninja. There's no money in that! You only get a fraction of what the village does for those missions! A FRACTION! And half the time not even that! Never mind enough to retire on!" Sasuke ranted as Naruto looked on. Ever since Sasuke's father had him cut off from the Uchiha's bank account for flunking out of the ninja program, he had been working his ass off. Sure what little his mother would slip him would get him by, but he was far from financially secure. Needless to say, Sasuke was not doing fine.

"Personally, my work is my adventure. Everyone scoffs at the idea of what you cannot see. The entire chaotic dance going on all around us that not even the Byakugan can fathom. In fact..." Kabuto began one of his lectures, Sasuke glaring at Naruto for bringing up a subject that would get him going. Naruto sheepishly scratched the back of his head, but as he quickly averted his gaze from Sasuke's now Sharingan red stare... He noticed something out of the corner of his eye. A slight purplish glow from behind a bookshelf. Naruto got up without warning and walked over to where it had been, Kabuto finally stopping his discourse as he noticed something had gotten his young friend's attention. Sasuke, seeing a chance to escape the horrific torture of another one of Kabuto's speeches jumped at the chance.

Naruto kept walking down deeper and deeper into the library, followed closely by Kabuto and Sasuke. He kept seeing a purple flash of something, behind every corner, just barely out of his field of vision. Soon enough they were in the lower level of the library. Catching up to him, Sasuke tapped the blond on the back as he practically jumped out of his skin.

"DON'T DO THAT!" Naruto yelled as he turned back around to see what he was chasing... An ethereal woman dressed in a plain dress it seemed, glowing a translucent purple. Naruto began to chatter his teeth as she leaned down and brought her finger to her lips

 **"Shh..."**

She shushed as she floated off casually, seemingly organizing the books as she went. The trio's hearts were beating a mile a minute. For Naruto it was because, while fascinated with Kabuto's theories he was terrified of ghosts. For Kabuto it was a once in a life time chance for him to prove ghosts existed. For Sasuke however, he just saw the potential to cash in on catching a ghost. Sasuke quickly huddled them together and looked at his friends deadly serious.

"I got an idea... One three we rush her. We catch a ghost? Say hello to fortune and fame!" Sasuke whispered in excitement. Looking at each other and back to Sasuke, Naruto and Kabuto had to admit... The pros outweighed the cons and whatever fear they might have had. Nodding in agreement they broke apart and walked around her.

"One... Two... THREE!" Sasuke said as all of them lunged at the apparition only to pass through her and knock down several bookshelves in a domino effect. The ghostly librarian looked around and began to flicker.

 _ **"NO! MORE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOISE!"**_ She screeched as books began to fly all around, the ghost herself transforming into a hideous mutilated visage, a huge gaping maw of teeth with arms seemingly now boneless and flapping about as tentacles. The trio were out the door before the ghost knew it, as she quietly went back to her original task of sorting books.

* * *

The trio did not stop running until they hit the village gates. All of them were panting and still shivering from their ordeal, Naruto close to having a full on heart attack. As soon as they calmed down enough, they caught Sasuke's growing smile, which was unnerving them more than the ghost did. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke looked at his two compatriots with a big smile which was usually reserved for his would-be girlfriends.

"You guys know how a lot of people just ghost hunt right?" The Uchiha began as Naruto began to turn around and walk away.

"Nope, not happening." The blond said as he kept on walking, but Kabuto was honestly intrigued where Sasuke was going with this.

"Okay, fine miss out on the idea of a life time... Ghost catching." Sasuke said, the smirk evident in his voice as Naruto stopped in his tracks.

"That's right Naruto, ghost _catching_ as in stopping those big bad ghosts from bothering people... You included." Sasuke said as Naruto stood still and looked back at him with an eyebrow raised.

 _'Jackpot.'_ Sasuke thought, picturing the cash flow already.

* * *

Minato, Kushina, and Naruto were at the dinner table, a usual family dinner night... Until Naruto decided to get his news over with.

"I'M QUITTING BEING A NINJA AND GOING INTO BUSINESS WITH SASUKE AND KABUTO!" Naruto all but screeched, as Minato and Kushina were various levels of shocked, confused, and... Somewhat relieved.

"Naruto, honey... I just wanted to say I'm proud you're taking some initiative. It may not be what we had planned but... Well." Kushina began as Minato chuckled a little.

"What your mother is trying to say is, we just want what's best for you. Being a ninja clearly wasn't what you wanted so we're happy you've settled on something." Minato said, as Naruto smiled. The meal continued on for another minute or so until Minato spoke up again.

"By the way what sort of business are you three working on anyway?" The Hokage asked as Naruto slurped his ramen before swallowing and looking up casually.

"Oh we're gonna be catching ghosts." The young Uzumaki said... Leaving both parents speechless. Naruto, finishing his bowl, got up and took it to the sink.

"Thanks for being cool with this guys." Naruto said smiling, giving Kushina then Minato a one armed hug before walking out of the room. Kushina was about to get up to go talk to him, but Minato grabbed her arm.

"Let it go. I'll just put him on the inactive list until this blows over." Minato said as Kushina sat back down, grumbling a bit.

"Well... At least he's doing something."

* * *

 **Please review!**


End file.
